


Do You Copy, Miss Vaaanjie?

by orphan_account



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race (US) RPF
Genre: Cops, Drugs, F/F, God knows what Ms. Mateo would do with a gun she'd probably shove it in her ass, Guns, Katya and Trixie gave up the spy gig and are now selling grade b drugs to local drag queens, Makeshift Dildo, Police, Police officers, drug dealers, please don't give Brooke or Vanjie a gun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-09
Updated: 2021-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-15 16:15:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29936055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Brooke and Vanjie are the worst cops in Tuckahoe County and do a shitty bust!
Relationships: Brooke Lynn Hytes/Vanessa Vanjie Mateo, Tina Burner/Utica Queen, Trixie Mattel/Katya Zamolodchikova
Kudos: 1





	Do You Copy, Miss Vaaanjie?

**Author's Note:**

> defund the police and acab, this is just something silly i'm writing plus i just drank four iced caramel macchiatos light ice extra caramel and i feel like i'm on a star floating in the galaxy

Vanjie and Brooke were in the donut shop chowing down on chocolate glazes and drinking weak coffee when their walkie talkie went off.

"Officers Vanjie and Brooke, we have suspicious activity on Crack Block. Go there immediately." Vanjie scoffed.

"I ain't even finish my donut yet!"

"I know right? Let's get this done quick, eh." The illegal immigrant shoved the donut into her pocket and she and Vanjie left and got in their cop car but kept the lights off.

"We gotta be sus if we finna pull up on some sus peeps." Brooke Canadianly nodded and they headed over to Crack Block. It was literally on the block of the donut shop but they couldn't be bothered to walk. They saw Utica, Katya, Tina, and Trixie handing each other stuff so the officers hopped out of their car with flashlights.

"Freeze, eh!" Brooke said and when one of them ran, Brooke ran after them. The other three gilrs were shaking in fear as Vanjie walked over to them.

"So what y'all doin? It's 2 am, shouldn't y'all be drinking at home or sum?"

"I'm sorry officer, we were just, um, exchanging DS cartridges!" Vanjie nodded.

"Is that so...empty your pockets and show me your hands." The stupid bitches emptied their pockets and put everything on the car; there were DS cartridges so they weren't lying, but there was also a shit ton of drugs.

"I-it's not what it looks like!" Utica said.

"Yeah, yeah. Y'all lucky I only got two cuffs, on of y'all can go home." Vanjie did eenie meenie miny moe and Utica was set free, until Brooke came running back, Katya in tow!

"HEY SHE'S RUNNING AWEH!" Brooke shoved Katya to the ground and stepped on her as she pulled out her gun and shot Utica in the head. The girls screamed and ran away, and Brooke shot the rest of them except for Katya who was pinned underneath her size 16 foot.

"Brooke! You fuckin dumbass we gon get in hella trouble for dis." Brooke shrugged.

"Oopseh daiseh." Vanjie rolled her eyes and called in.

"Hey, so uh, officer dumbass just killed 3 suspects, what should we do? Over." Silky groaned over the walkie talkie.

"Aight I'll call the ambulance, come back to the station." 

"Got it. Over n out." Vanjie said and put her walkie talkie back. 

"Aight less take this ex Russian spy to da station and then we could go back to the donut shop." Brooke nodded and the roughly handcuffed Katya and shoved her in the back of their car. They sped back to the station with their lights on so they wouldn't get pulled over, forgetting they were cops so they couldn't be pulled over. When they got their, they pulled Katya out by her straw dry blonde hair and drop kicked her into a cell.

"Um, y'all are supposed to book her, remember?"

"Me her? Eh?" Brooke said and Silky sighed.

"BOOK her, not Brooke her you fucktard." Brooke nodded and they booked the beat up girl then drop kicked her into the cell again.

"Aight we off to da donut shop, see y'all." Vanjie and Brooke drove back to the donut shop to get two dozen stale donut holes and more weak, room temperature coffee.

"What a night, eh?" Vanjie nodded.

"What a night."


End file.
